Grif.Net

05/20/20 Grif.Net – Status Updates

05/20/20 Grif.Net – Status Updates

Tim M =
reported: “A Colorado rancher has been charged with feeding =
marijuana to his cattle. It’s an unprecedented case, and the =
steaks are high.”

 

Clayton H =
admits, “I love racing cars, but I never win.  The cars are =
always faster than I can run.”

 

Jim D related, =
“My shoelace broke when tying it this morning. Most people would =
immediately blame President Trump, but I knew it was really because of =
climate change.”

 

Joe S said he =
accidentally locked himself out of the house with no way to open the =
door.  “So I just whispered quietly in the keyhole for it to =
unlock. Mom always taught me that communication is the =
key.”

 

Scott C stated, “I got on my scale to check any =
weight gain in quarantine. It said ‘To maintain social distancing, =
only one person at a time.’”

 

Wayne I told us, “Last night I had a beautiful dream =
of strolling on a sandy beach on a small Caribbean island. This morning, =
I found that someone left footprints in the cat’s =
litterbox.”

 

Ken M relates, “Having children is like having a =
bowling alley installed in your brain.”

 

Howard H confessed, “I hate when cashiers feel the =
need to check and see if the $10 bill I gave them is real. Lady, if I =
were that good at counterfeiting, I wouldn’t be shopping at Dollar =
Tree.”

 

Karen D shared, “The other day I spotted an albino =
dalmatian. It was the least I could do for him.”

 

Vera M told us, “Since I’m 8 months pregnant =
and simple tasks are challenging, I asked my five-year old son to tie my =
shoes.  When he finished, I asked if had tied them like usual in =
nice bows.  He replied, ‘Knot =
always.’”

 

Dan B admitted, “I asked my =
wife to describe me in four words. She said I’m mature, I’m patient, I’m =
polite, I’m perfect.  Then she added that I also have a hard time =
with apostrophes and spacing.”

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin =

bob@grif.net =
www.grif.net

"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I Love!"