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09/18/19 Grif.Net – Daily Chronicle (Bozeman, Montana) Reviews of Yellowstone

09/18/19 Grif.Net – Daily Chronicle (Bozeman, Montana) Reviews of Yellowstone

[While =
visitation to Yellowstone National Park has skyrocketed over the years, =
not everyone who goes to America’s first national park is a happy =
camper. The following one-star reviews were taken from Yelp and Trip =
Advisor.]

 

Seen ’em =
all – “Seen one majestic and colorful thermal feature of =
archaebacteria, you’ve seen them all. They don’t even let =
you touch the geysers, and there’s only black and grizzly bears – =
no panda, polar or cave bears.”

 

Too much =
wildlife, not enough Wi-Fi – “I’d give it 5 stars. But the =
Wi-Fi was terrible.”

 

Big Sky versus =
Big Apple – “There’s no Starbucks for a hundred miles =
around. No street-side falafel stands (the park ranger said something =
about bears tragically ending the first experiment). They don’t =
let you swim in the spa pools. You can’t throw your trash onto the =
street like NYC. There’s nowhere to get a pastrami on rye at 2 =
a.m. It’s worse than Hoboken!”

 

Gotta have =
faith – “Old Faithful isn’t so faithful =
anymore.”

 

Steamy water =
hole – “A steamy water hole and rabid deer aren’t that fun =
to see. I should have stayed at home.”

 

Seismic =
activity – “My parents got a divorce after I got home from =
Yellowstone.”

 

Watch out for =
the squirrels – “Trash everywhere. Rude staff. Aggressive bears =
and squirrels.”

 

False =
advertising – “The stones aren’t even =
yellow!”

 

More like =
Pok=E9mon Stop – “Has a distinct lack of cell towers. I was not =
able to play ‘Pok=E9mon Go’ the whole time. No bars, no =
stars.”

 

Just boil a =
pot of water at home – “The one thing that makes this place =
different from other parks is the geysers. I was extremely underwhelmed. =
They look SO much better in the pictures. If you want a similar look, =
just boil a pot of water at home.”

 

People you =
like – “If you do decide to come here for god knows what =
reason, please come with your friends NOT your family. You’re =
going to be stuck in a prehistoric world with nothing to do and annoying =
tourists left and right, so you might as well come with people you =
like.”

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin =

bob@grif.net =
www.grif.net

"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I Love!"