Grif.Net

06/25/19 Grif.Net – Medical Transcriptions

06/25/19 Grif.Net – Medical Transcriptions

This is a =
collection of funny one-liners from the doctor’s notes, =
exactly as typed by medical secretaries:

·         =
Patient has =
chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a =
year.

·         =
On the second =
day the knee was better and on the third day it =
disappeared.

·         =
The patient =
has been depressed since she began seeing me in =
2013.

·         =
Patient has =
left her white blood cells at another hospital.

·         =
Discharge =
status: Alive, but without my permission.

·         =
Patient had =
waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

·         =
While in ER, =
Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.

·         =
Skin: somewhat =
pale, but present.

·         =
Patient has =
two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. =

·         =
She has no =
rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot at bedtime =
last night.

·         =
The patient =
was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel =
and crashed.

·         =
Mrs. Evans =
slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions =
in early December.

·         =
Patient was =
seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen =
and I agree.

·         =
The patient =
refused autopsy.

·         =
The patient =
has no previous history of suicides.

·         =
She is numb =
from her toes down.

·         =
She stated =
that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a =
divorce.

·         =
Patient was =
found in the bed with a lawn mower.

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin

bob@grif.net www.grif.net

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"