[A friend asked if I could find an old grif net =
entry from 20+ years ago about lessons from my mother. Not sure if =
this is what she was asking for, but I smiled when I found them and =
share them again with you. BTW, if you go to the website www.grif.net and click on magnifying =
glass in upper right below the banner picture, you can type in 1-2 words =
and it will search through most of the archives.]
My =
mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you’re going to kill each other, do it =
outside. I just finished cleaning!"
My =
mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the =
carpet."
My =
mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to =
knock you into the middle of next week!"
My =
mother taught me LOGIC:
"Why? =
Because I said so, that’s why."
My =
mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case =
you’re hit by a car."
My =
mother taught me IRONY
"Keep =
laughing and I’ll give you something to cry =
about."
My =
mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your =
supper!"
My =
mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your =
neck!"
My =
mother taught me about STAMINA
"You’ll sit there ’til every bite of =
that spinach is gone."
My =
mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your =
room."
My =
mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming =
toward you; would you finally listen then?"
My =
mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a =
million times – Don’t exaggerate!!!"
My =
mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take =
you out."
My =
mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your =
father!"
My =
mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children =
in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you =
do!"
THANKS, MOM!
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] www.grif.net =
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"