Grif.Net

04/17/17 Grif.Net – Do you Understand English?

04/17/17 Grif.Net – Do you Understand English?

[Observations and quotations about the foibles of =
the English language]
 “I like the word ‘indolence.’ It =
makes my laziness seem classy.”
 “The quantity of consonants in the English =
language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. =
When a Bostonian ‘pahks’ his ‘cah,’ the lost =
‘r’s migrate southwest, causing a Texan to =
‘warsh’ his car and invest in ‘erl =
wells.’”
 “Our language is funny – a ‘fat =
chance’ and a ‘slim chance’ are the same =
thing.”
 “If the English language made any sense, a =
catastrophe would be an apostrophe with =
fur.”
 “The word ‘good’ has many =
meanings.  For example, if a man were to shoot his mother-in-law at =
a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot. But that =
does not mean he is necessarily a good =
man.”
 “‘I am’ is reportedly the =
shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I =
do’ is the longest sentence?”
 “Rudyard Kipling was fired as a reporter for =
the San Francisco Examiner. His dismissal letter was reported to have =
said, ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know =
how to use the English language. This isn’t a kindergarten for =
amateur writers.’”
 “If the English language made any sense, =
lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of =
flowers.”
 “English grammar is so complex and confusing =
for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based =
on Latin, a language with which it has precious little in =
common.”
 “Making English grammar conform to Latin =
rules is like asking people to play baseball using the rules of =
football.”
 “The nine most terrifying words in the =
English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m =
here to help.’”
 “Introducing ‘Lite’ – The =
new way to spell ‘Light’, but with twenty percent fewer =
letters.”
 “England and America are two countries =
separated by a common language.”
 “Drawing on my fine command of the English =
language, I said nothing.”
 “Never make fun of someone who speaks broken =
English. It means they know another =
language.”

 

~~

Dr Bob =
Griffin

bob@grif.net www.grif.net =

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"