Grif.Net

02/14/17 Grif.Net – Ten Commandments of Marriage

02/14/17 Grif.Net – Ten Commandments of Marriage

[My newly-married friend Susan printed out this =
oldie-but-goodie humor on marriage. Methinks it is fitting for =
Valentine’s Day.]

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in =
heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

***********
Commandment 2
If you want your wife =
to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say . . . then talk =
in your sleep.

***********
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand — =
and divorce is at least 100 grand!

***********
Commandment 4
Married life is very =
frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman =
listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. =

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors =
listen.

***********
Commandment 5
When a man opens the =
door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the =
car is new or the wife is.

***********
Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man =
and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide =
which one.

***********
Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man =
will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After =
marriage, he will fall asleep before she =
finishes.

***********
Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife =
who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But =
the law allows only one wife.

***********
Commandment 9
Marriage and love are =
purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic =
waste.

***********
Commandment 10
A man is incomplete =
until he is married. After that, he is =
finished.
***********

Bonus Story –
A long married couple came upon a =
wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a =
penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too =
much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a =
moment but then smiled and said to herself, "It really =
works!"

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin =

bob@grif.net www.grif.net =

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"