Travelers to Australia (still on my bucket list) =
ACTUALLY ASKED these question on the tourism web site, and here are the =
ACTUAL ANSWERS Aussies gave to go with them. (Who says there is no humor =
Down Under?)
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I =
have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? =
(UK)
A: Upwards, out of the =
ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will =
need watering if their IQ drops any lower.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the =
street? (USA)
A: =
Depends on how much alcohol you’ve consumed …
Q: Which direction should I drive – Perth to =
Darwin or Darwin to Perth – to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? =
(Germany)
A: Excellent =
question, considering 99% of tourism is on the other end of the =
continent.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can =
I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, its’ only three thousand miles, so =
you’ll need to have started about a year ago …
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in =
Australia? (Sweden)
A: And =
accomplish what?
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and =
addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. =
(Italy)
A: I’m not touching =
this one …
Q: Can =
I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of =
us…
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? =
(France)
A: No. Everybody =
stinks.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? =
(France)
A: Yes. At =
Christmas.
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? =
(Germany)
A: Sure, if your vehicle =
is amphibious.
Q: Are =
there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but we’ll see what we can do when you =
get here.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo =
racing in Australia? (USA)
A: What’s this guy smoking?
Q: Are =
there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? =
(Germany)
A: Another =
blonde?
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia =
who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Sure, but unless you bring your own snake on the =
plane, remember there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.
Q: =
Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about =
right.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? =
(USA)
A: Americans have long had =
considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and =
Australia.
Q: Will I be abel to speek Amercan most places I =
go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have =
to learn it first.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] www.grif.net =
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"