“Started a new =
exercise routine yesterday. So far I’ve only missed one =
day.”
"A few weeks =
ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza using his iPad. =
He’s almost done."
“I saw a =
guy accidentally swallow some Scrabble tiles. I’m thinking that =
his next bowel movement could spell =
disaster.”
“I am =
transfinancial, which means I’m a rich man in a poor =
person’s body. Help stop the hate by sending money to . . . =
“
“Being =
around kids has convinced me that their ears are for decorative purposes =
only.”
“Eating two =
strips of bacon for breakfast each morning reduces your chance of being =
a suicide bomber by 100%”
“I changed =
my car horn to a gunshot sound. People move out of the way a lot faster =
now.”
“Libraries =
are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of =
places where people shouldn’t be allowed to =
talk.”
“When =
someone mentions pizza, I want pizza. When someone mentions doughnuts I =
want a doughnut. When someone mentions garden-fresh romaine salad I want =
pizza. And maybe a doughnut.”
“I =
don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without =
it.”
“Caution. =
When someone tells you to ‘get a grip’, apparently it does =
not mean around their neck. Who =
knew?”
"Son, your =
father and I have something to tell you. You were adopted. Your new =
parents are waiting outside in the car."
“If tomatoes are a fruit, =
isn’t ketchup really then just a =
smoothie?”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] www.grif.net =
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"