Grif.Net

04/07/16 Grif.Net – Overheard from Friends

04/07/16 Grif.Net – Overheard from Friends

Started a new =
exercise routine yesterday. So far I’ve only missed one =
day.”

 

"A few weeks =
ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza using his iPad.  =
He’s almost done."

 

“I saw a =
guy accidentally swallow some Scrabble tiles.  I’m thinking that =
his next bowel movement could spell =
disaster.”

 

“I am =
transfinancial, which means I’m a rich man in a poor =
person’s body.  Help stop the hate by sending money to . . . =

 

“Being =
around kids has convinced me that their ears are for decorative purposes =
only.”

 

“Eating two =
strips of bacon for breakfast each morning reduces your chance of being =
a suicide bomber by 100%”

 

“I changed =
my car horn to a gunshot sound. People move out of the way a lot faster =
now.”

 

“Libraries =
are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of =
places where people shouldn’t be allowed to =
talk.”

 

“When =
someone mentions pizza, I want pizza. When someone mentions doughnuts I =
want a doughnut. When someone mentions garden-fresh romaine salad I want =
pizza. And maybe a doughnut.”

 

“I =
don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without =
it.”

 

“Caution. =
When someone tells you to ‘get a grip’, apparently it does =
not mean around their neck.  Who =
knew?”

 

"Son, your =
father and I have something to tell you. You were adopted. Your new =
parents are waiting outside in the car."

 

“If tomatoes are a fruit, =
isn’t ketchup really then just a =
smoothie?”

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin =

bob@grif.net www.grif.net =

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"