[Final batch of tips for effective driving in California]
**If California Highway Patrol attempts to pull you over, hit the
accelerator. You won’t get away, but it’s guaranteed you’ll make live TV.
Towards the end of the chase, be sure to throw random items out of your
window. It will give the reporters something to talk about on the 4, 5, 6,
8, 9, 10, and 11 o’clock news.
(This works best if you are driving a white Bronco)
**While driving uphill, do not down shift. While driving downhill, ride your
**Never Carpool. But feel free to always use the carpool lane.
**Rush hour at the 101/405 interchange is from 5 AM to 11 PM, except around
holidays that create airport traffic, when evening hours are extended to 2
AM; morning hours start about 2:01 AM.
**Take full advantage of your right to U-turn. Laugh aloud at people from
other states who turn around in driveways.
**In case of rain, immediately pull over. You can not drive in any sort of
**When parking on a hill, turn your wheels out, set the emergency brake,
remove radio face, enable the alarm, and put The Club (TM) on your steering
**On narrow canyon roads like Malibu, feel free to use the center divider as
a passing lane.
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”