Next week I’m headed on a trip for a few days. Was asked if my wife would be
along. We’ve had problems when driving in the past, so I am thinking of
leaving her at home. Why?
Here’s just one example of our last trip to Minneapolis . . .
TERESA DRIVING –
1. Pulls off at wrong exit to get on a state highway
2. Opens window
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable person
4. Turns one block to get back on correct road
5. Arrives in Minneapolis presently
BOB DRIVING –
1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one
2. Can’t find state road, so drives 5 miles into wilderness, still thinking
he’s right
3. Drives an extra 5 miles down another gravel road, just in case
4. Finally rolls down window
5. Spits and keeps on driving
6. In a small town pulls up to a gas station/convenience store
7. Gets three hot-dogs, Cheetos, a large Slurpee, and beef jerky
8. Asks 16-year old gal behind counter how to get on the right highway
9. Gets back into car.
10. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away
11. Drives through unpaved roads insisting this is the way back because kid
from the 7-11 said it was
12. Almost hits a deer (or was it a cow)
13. Gripes because it is getting dark
14. Unhappy that wife is just sitting there, being useless
15. Drives and fiddles with radio
16. Unplugs the Garmin because that woman’s voice is too smug and saying
“Recalculating” over and over and over
17. Admits he doesn’t care if he’s late to see his family anyway
18. Hates them since, even though he is pretty hard of hearing, he thinks
they called him a pernicious weasel
19. He had to look up pernicious but couldn’t get cell reception in the
middle of Nowhere, Minnesota, to look it up
20. Couldn’t spell pernicious anyway
21. Seethes at the memory of it all
22. Knows Teresa is pretending to read a book, but laughing at him inside
23. Keep driving, but now car smells of manure and diesel from farmers
working fields in spring
24. Finally making great time
25. But of course he’s still lost
26. County road number changes from Minnesota 1 to Iowa 32
27.
The list goes on. But you see why I may have to leave her behind . . .
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”