03/27/15 Grif.Net – Status Updates from my Friend

03/27/15 Grif.Net – Status Updates from my Friend

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

I didn’t have the money to repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.

I saw a sign: “Rest Area 25 Miles”. That’s pretty big. Some people must be
really tired.

I only borrow money from pessimists. They don’t expect it back.

I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every
once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I’ll say, “I think I
might have written that.”

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it’s
going to be up all night.

I was born by Caesarian section, but the only way you’d notice is that when
I leave my house, I go out through the window.

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five
minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

Today I am working on inventing the cordless extension cord.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I decide to boycott shampoo and demand the REAL poo instead.

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”