[‘Laugh Lab’ conducted surveys a few years back to find the “top joke” in
some English-speaking countries]
USA Top Joke
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem
to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone
and calls 911. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”.
The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says
“OK, now what?”
Great Britain Top Joke
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the
ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a
man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold
your monkey for you.”
Australia Top Joke
A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and strung out.
“Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself
in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all
wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this
corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well,
I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with your eyesight.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”