Grif.Net

07/07/14 Grif.Net – Status Updates

07/07/14 Grif.Net – Status Updates

[Friends post clever, sage and often funny “updates” on their Twitter or
Facebook accounts. Here are a few gleaned this past week.]

Shot my first turkey today. Now they’re talking about banning me from
Safeway for life.

If a man is alone in the woods and no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?

I still think 1990 was about 10 years ago.

I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for food. I don’t even know where sandwiches
live.

Love says, “I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person.”
Abortion says, “I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself.”

It’s raining, it’s pouring, Facebook is boring. I’m of to bed, to rest my
head I’ll see you all in the morning.

I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said “I miss Chicago”. So I broke the
window, stole the radio, shot two tires and left a note that read, “Hope
this helps”.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit
again to a yoke of slavery.

It is better to be alone, than being with someone who makes you feel alone

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Dear Monday,
I want to break up.
I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.
Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.

Cops are looking for a missing person with messed up teeth, bad hair and a
butt-ugly face. I’m worried. Call me if your OK!

Life is really starting to cut into my Facebook time.

They say money can’t buy happiness. But money can buy chocolate and really,
what’s the difference?

If history repeats itself, I’m totally getting a dinosaur.

I think it’s okay to cry. Tears are sort of like liquid prayers.

I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but I like the way they think.

If when one door closes another door opens, I’d suggest moving. Your house
may be haunted.

The next time Satan reminds me of my past, I’m going to remind him of his
future.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”