A friend told his co-worker: “Christmas is on a Friday next year.”
His friend frowned as she said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
~~
Two men found three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police
station. One asked, “What if a grenade explodes before we get there?”
The other replied, “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
~~
A gal went to the vet with her goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy,” she
told the vet. The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.”
So she says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”
~~
A man shouted frantically into the phone “My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asked the Doctor.
“No!” he shouted. “This is her husband!”
~~
A fellow was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to
avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulled him over, so he tried to explain to the officer about all
the trees in the road.
Finally the cop says, “That’s your air freshener swinging about!”
~~
A guard making his rounds looked into a cell and saw a man hanging by his
feet.
“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asked.
“Hanging myself,” the prisoner replies.
“Ah, the sheet should be around your neck” says the guard.
“I tried that,” he replied, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”