04/30/13 Grif.Net – In Between Flights

04/30/13 Grif.Net – In Between Flights

[Got back from flying to Washington DC, Orlando and points east. Heading out
in a week to Michigan and the Midwest. Here are some announcements you
DON’T want to hear on an airplane]

Flying across Lake Michigan, “This is your Captain speaking, this seems an
appropriate time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as
floatation devices.”

“Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you
can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an
extra pack of peanuts.”

“Our sudden loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the
local terrain. I assure you that it’s all part of our airlines new
commitment to make your flight a sight seeing expedition.”

“Bogey at 2 O’clock … He’s hot on our tail! … Eject! Eject!”

As the plane turns around right after takeoff: “… uhhhhh … We have to go
back. … We… We… uhhhhhh …forgot something… ”

“To the passengers on the right-hand side of the plane, I’m sure you’ve
noticed the loss of an engine. However the reduction in weight and drag will
mean we’ll be flying much more efficiently now.”

“Ummmmmm … Sorry everybody …” (silence)

“It would be a good idea right now if everyone would close their shades and
watch the in-flight movie.”

“Aww, I can’t figure out how to turn this thing off and don’t worry, that
gauge is always on ‘E’.”

“Flight Attendant, would you please bring four parachutes to the front

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”