[A month ago I share some “humor”. Here are some more of the “best” lines of
late night comedians during the past year shared by some friends. “Best”
is, of course, a matter of opinion.]
“A company in Missouri is selling a glazed donut-flavored vodka. Which
explains why last night I got like 20 drunk-dials from New Jersey Governor
Chris Christie.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump was bumped from speaking at the Republican convention because
of Hurricane Isaac. See, nobody ever talks about the good things hurricanes
do.” – Jay Leno
“The world’s oldest woman passed away at 116. They keep dying. I think that
title may be cursed.” – David Letterman
“Last week a group of chefs baked the world’s largest pizza, which is
gluten-free and contains 9,000 pounds of cheese. Or as Americans put it,
‘You had me at “world’s largest pizza” — you LOST me at “gluten-free” —
then you won me back with “9,000 pounds of cheese.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Are you sick and tired of hearing the term ‘fiscal cliff’? People don’t
understand it. It doesn’t tell you how serious the situation is. They need
more colorful metaphors. Here’s how to explain it: ‘It’s 4 a.m. for our
economy, and Lindsay Lohan is behind the wheel.'” – Jay Leno
“I no longer recognize Labor Day as a holiday now that Jerry Lewis is not
hosting anymore.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Mitt Romney is so rich, he taught his dog to roll over … an IRA.” – Jay
Leno
“There is an HBO movie coming out about the 2008 presidential election.
Apparently John McCain is very unhappy with the way he was portrayed. He
said he came across as a clueless and angry man. No one had the heart to
tell him he was watching the toaster.” – Craig Ferguson
“A new report found that Hawaii has the best quality of life of any state in
the U.S. You know, just in case you thought it sucked living in Hawaii.” –
Jimmy Fallon
“A new study says that people who snore have a higher risk of cancer. But
the good news is: Hey, at least they’re not losing any sleep over it.” – Jay
Leno
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”