Hello, this is KGTC-FM. You are caller #9 and you’re on the air!
———–
We’re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your
phone 90 degrees and try again.
———–
WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we’re not
home right now. So leave a message and we’ll assimilate you later.
———–
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Leave your name and number,
and prepare to die.
———–
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and
number, and recite a sentence using today’s vocabulary word. Today’s word is
“supercilious”.
———–
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know
who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
———–
I can’t come to the phone right now because I have amnesia and I feel
stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could
help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.
Thanks.
———–
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test
1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? … BEEP
———–
(Rod Sterling imitation:) You’re dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world
without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a
signpost up ahead — this is no ordinary telephone answering device… You
have entered, “The Twilight Phone”.
———–
(Recorded directly from AT&T) We’re sorry, but the number you dialed is
disconnected or no longer in service.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”