Grif.Net

10/25/12 Grif.Net Blog – Answering Machine Ideas

10/25/12 Grif.Net Blog – Answering Machine Ideas

[Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous
International Institute of Answering Machine Answers of Casper, Wyoming]

“Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my bank, you didn’t lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.”

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“Hi. Now you say something.”

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“Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?”

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“Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.”

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“Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with
her CD player, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything
cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

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“Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They have voted absentee already. They give to charity through their
office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave
your name and number and they will get back to you.”

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“This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and
a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”

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“Hi. I am probably home, but caller ID allows me to avoid anyone I don’t
like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.”

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“Hi, this is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. If you are a
burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our guns right now and can’t
come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave
us a message.”

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“You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to
leave your name, number, and a message.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”