Here is some sanguine ‘advice to live by’ from my yoda-like years of experience. Remember, you heard it here: If at first you don’t succeed, try the outfield. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. Therapy is expensive. Bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. The cost of living hasn’t affected…

[Terry shared this on FB and I blatantly stole it. Trusting it was not biographical.] The wife was screaming at her Husband: “Leave! Get out of this house!” she ordered. As he was walking out the door she added, “And I hope you die a slow and painful death!” He…

[Jack forwarded this story] My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room. “But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was…

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after…

[Cruise directors have stolen great lines from late night comedians, but these “questions” asked by passengers are some of the best] What time is the Midnight Buffet? Does the water go all round the Island? Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship? How far are we…

[Flew home midnight flight and just printed out my sermon for tomorrow on the surety of the Resurrection. Love this epitaph of Benjamin Franklin] The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer, (Like the cover of an old book, its contents worn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding) Lies here,…

Overheard on our cruise this past week: There was some mix-up with a woman’s room. The clerk (or whatever they are called on ships) was trying to remedy the situation. He asked, “Would you like an inside cabin or an outside cabin?” She replied, “Well, it looks like it might…

I was at my son’s last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. ‘This is the 21st century,’ Josh said. ‘I don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad.’ I can tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him. ~~ Dr Bob…

[NOTE: The Grif.Net will be OFF LINE until Monday, August 27th. For both readers who will miss it, we send you love and bifocals.] Sometimes a hymn so aptly describes the experience of a particular group that it becomes an unofficial anthem for generations to come. Martin Luther’s “A Mighty…

The Football Coach was upset with Ben. His math scores were so low he would be ineligible to play in the opening game. The whole team was saddened by the thought of losing such a valuable player. The Coach thought of a great idea and said, “Ben, I will ask…

Here is an alphabetical listing of 17 popular fruits consumed in America. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to select the TEN most popular fruits and place them in “sort of” the CORRECT ORDER of popularity. It is tough and some seem counter-intuitive to me since I…

[Zig, a long-time Grif.Net subscriber, sent me some = encouragement on why she is thankful each day. Boy, I needed that = reminder.]   Look back and thank God Look forward and trust God Look around and serve God Look up and find God   Without God my week ahead…

Final Thoughts about the US & China in the Olympics (gathered from the Web): If the Olympics has taught me anything it’s that China may have a population of 1.2 billion, but they only have two hair styles. Of course China is dominating the Olympics. They probably made all of…