This is an old grif.net first sent out by me in 1997!! Obviously back in
circulation and many re-sent it to me during this heat wave, saying it
sounded “just like my sort of humor”. It was! So will recycle again this
summer because it IS so hot that . . .
The birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water comes from both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 90 degrees F and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 AM.
Your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
You realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add
The cows are giving evaporated milk and farmers are feeding their chickens
crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
Besides, it’s so dry that:
~Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling,
~Methodists are using wet-wipes,
~Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and
~Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”