1 – I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to
get the position.
2 – I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
3 – You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
4 – Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed
so that I may be promoted to management
5 – I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me
until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will
be deleted in the order it was received.
6 -Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the
first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7 – The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending
8 – Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.
9 – Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC
for my response.
10 – Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to
leave me any messages.
Bonus – No longer here. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”