NYC School System has banned the word “BIRTHDAY” from classroom use (since
it might be offensive to Jehovah’s Witnesses who don’t celebrate such). Got
me thinking about how various Belief Systems would wish a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”.
IDEALISM: Happy Birthday.
CAPITALISM: I shopped all day for your birthday.
COMMUNISM: We only celebrate Lenin’s birthday.
CORPORATE AMERICA: Happy birthday. You’re fired.
AGNOSTICISM: Are you sure it’s your birthday?.
ATHEISM: I can’t believe it’s your birthday.
NEW AGE: Ever get that feeling you’ve been born before?
TAOISM: It’s everybody’s birthday.
BUDDHISM: If your birthday party was held in the forest and nobody came…
would it make a sound?
CATHOLICISM: Sorry, we need candles for votive purposes.
EPISCOPALIANISM: Tasteful birthday to you!
LUTHERANISM: I take it on faith it’s your birthday. So I don’t need to send
cards and gifts, right?
EXISTENTIALISM: Your birthday means nothing to me.
FUNDAMENTALISM: But more importantly, when is your ‘spiritual’ birthday?
SARCASM: You don’t look half bad for someone twice your age.
QUAKERS: I am moved to wish you a peaceful birthday.
UNITARIAN-UNIVERSALISTS: Have any kind of birthday you want.
HINDUISM: Holy Cow! Is it your birthday?
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”