Over the past 10 years, I’ve read with interest stories of folks who were delayed or late and because of that “missed” the tragic Twin Tower collapses of 9/11. A CEO was late because his son started kindergarten. Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.…

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for. “They are very special. People held them over Jesus’ head as He walked…

[My list last week of ANNOYING WORDS/PHRASES brought 25+ email suggestions of annoying terms or phrases that really light your fire, flick your Bic, or raise the hackles on your necks. Here are YOUR additions. No names, fearing that Big Brother is watching.] Duh It’s all good If I’m elected…

A flea and a fly in a flue, Were imprisoned; now what could they do? Said the fly, “Let us flee.” “Let us fly,” said the flea, And they flew through a flaw in the flue. There once was a lady from Ryde Who ate some green apples and died.…

The auctioneer was a student of the Old Testament. So when farm pasture acreage came up for sale, he waved his hand enthusiastically, pointed toward the rich expanse, and shouted: “Now, then, how much am I offered for this field? Just look at that grass, gentlemen. Rich. Green. Thick. Nutritious.”…

A dear church-going woman was deeply shocked when her new neighbor came over one Sunday morning and asked to borrow her lawn-mower. “The very idea,” she exclaimed to her friend later, “of cutting grass on Sunday! What would Jesus think? Shameful! Unchristian! Certainly, they couldn’t have it.” Her friend leaned…

The food stamp program (US Department of Agriculture) is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps in history. Meanwhile, the National Park Service (US Department of Interior) has signs all over Yellowstone Park asking us “Please do not feed the animals” because the animals may grow dependent…

In 2009-10 various groups tried (for unknown reasons) to find the MOST ANNOYING things people say. Here are some of the usual suspects. Whatever Hello? Yada yada yada You know It is what it is Anyway At the end of the day Fairly unique I personally At this moment in…

Top 10 excerpts from various employee evaluation forms: 10. This person is not really so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won’t-be. 9. A clock watcher who’s in a different time zone than the rest of the office. 8. He’s so dense, light bends around him. 7. He…

[Lots of humor out there between the President and the Candidates. Jokes are often interchangeable so borrow one and use it for/against your choices!!] The President was heckled by someone in the UCLA crowd who said, ‘Don’t forget about legalizing marijuana.’ The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to…

Planning to visit grandkids in a few weeks, so gotta “up” my jokes for them. Well, try to do better . . . Q. What do you call a cow without legs? A. Ground beef. Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? A. Because if it flew over…

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting…

[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net: on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This week I had TWO BIRTHDAYS, and every year I share this story on…