[Get your minds out of the gutter. Bissextile means ‘of, or pertaining to, the leap year or the extra day in the leap year’.] While our calendar only allows exactly 365 days each year, the earth actually takes 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, 46 seconds for a complete orbit…
02/28/12 Grif.Net – More Questions without Answers
Was the inventor of the colander accused of having an idea that did not hold water? Is it possible to have too much moderation? Why is it that in order to support something, one must lean against it? Is there a delicate way to say “euphemism?” Is an ambulance driver…
02/27/12 Grif.Net – Cow Humor for Moorons
Q: What day comes after Sunday on a cow’s calendar? A: Moonday. Q: What does a cow clean her kitchen with? A: Mooop and Glow. Q: What does the average cow earn for her labor? A: Mooney. Q: Where does a cow go on vacation? A: Moontana or Cowifornia. Q:…
02/25/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Wonder Why I’m Not a Democrat?
Thursday I was asked to pray at the precinct caucuses for the Republican’s in our county. I counted it an honor I am a conservative and prayed for the members of my party and for ALL Americans to stand for the moral and spiritual principles that made our nation great..…
02/24/12 Grif.Net – Off on a Tangent
[Got joking with my cyber-friend Ken about Math after yesterday’s grif.net, so thought I share some more “advanced” – read: “sick” – humor and word plays.] MY MATH TEACHER . . . . . was beautiful but very difficult. She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils.…
02/23/12 Grif.Net – By the Numbers
Time for some jokes for my 10 (count ’em) wonderful Grandkids from kindergarten to algebra. Q. What did 0 say to 8? A. Nice Belt Q. If you add 3+5+7 and your total is 6, what kind of job is best for you? A. A golf caddy Q. What did…
02/22/12 Grif.Net – Report form Grandma
Dear Grandson: It’s been a long winter and I have become a little older since I saw you last. Also, I’ve had a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday. As soon as I…
02/21/12 Grif.Net – Diagnosis
A doctor remarked on his new patient’s ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said, “It’s high blood pressure, I get it from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s side?” questioned the doctor. “Neither. From my wife’s side.” “What?” the doctor questioned, “You can’t get high blood pressure from…
02/20/12 Grif.Net – Quiz for Day Off School
A lion was walking in the jungle and met two men, one sitting on a rock reading a book, the other typing on his laptop. The lion ate only one. Which one and Why? . . . . . . . He ate the man reading the book, because everyone…
02/18/12 Weekend Grif.Net – A Soldier’s Letter Home
[Sullivan Ballou, a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Infantry, wrote this letter home to his wife in Smithfield, Rhode Island:] My very dear Sarah, The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again,…
02/17/12 Grif.Net – Where’s the Restroom?
Over the years, I have usually managed to decode the cute, but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors. But every so often, I get stumped. I was in the Hilton in Houston last week and wandered off in search of the men’s room and found myself confronted…
02/16/12 Grif.Net – More Diet Humor Dribbling Over
Overheard in the clinic: ‘My stomach is so big I’m embarrassed by it,’ commented Will. One of our gals asked, ‘Have you tried to diet?’ He replied, ‘Yes, but whatever color I use, it still sticks out.’ ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
02/15/12 Grif.Net – Computer Poetry
Abort/Retry/Ignore (read like Poe’s “The Raven”) Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor; Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets: I took my jump-drive from the drawer. Typing with a steady…