12/19/11 Grif.Net – Confusing Santa

12/19/11 Grif.Net – Confusing Santa

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that
you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if
he would mind watering your plants.

While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then
wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when
he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say
“We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa.”

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and
wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way

While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes
back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment,
and take off.

Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa
arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always
return to the scene of the crime.”

Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and

Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them.
Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a

Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear
and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This
neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”