Grif.Net

05/02/11 Grif.Net – English

05/02/11 Grif.Net – English

Lets be honest. English is a quite silly language. There is no egg in the
eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and neither pine nor apple in the
pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were
not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we
find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square, and a
guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing. If the plural of tooth is
teeth, shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher
taught, why didn’t the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat!? Why do people recite at a play yet play at a
recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn
up as it burns down, and in which you fill in a form by filling it out.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which of course isn’t a race at all). That is
why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out
they are invisible. Or why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts but
when I wind up this observation, it ends.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”