Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is Blue
And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s and with a lot fewer fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales but I luv you anyway.
You’re as graceful as okry jist a-dancin’ in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as Turtle Wax right out of the can.
You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I’m in hawg heaven, I’m plumb outta my wits.
Still them fellers at work they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo’re there fer yore man,
To patch up life’s troubles and stick ’em in the can.
Yo’re as strong as a four-wheeler racin’ through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.
Yo’re as cute as a junebug a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like no fire ant on which I oft’ tread.
Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; ain’t nuttin’ I lack.
Yore complexion, it’s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin’.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin’.
And when you get old like a ’57 Chevy,
Won’t put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.
Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it’s romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. “That’s impressive,” I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever,” they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these will not do.
For you are too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds – it’s a new trollin’ motor.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”