10. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining
that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
9. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding
8. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask
if he would mind watering your plants.
7. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa
arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always
return to the scene of the crime.”
6. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and
wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way
5. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note
that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. :)” Leave another plate out with half a
stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that
says, “For Santa. 2008”
4. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see
them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and
fire a gun.
3. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
2. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the
house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been
“trampled.” Threaten to sue.
1. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like
the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood
ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”