[Missing work next Monday will take some planning for a quality, believable
excuse. Muse on these for a few days then feel free to try calling in one of
these to the boss.]
I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who
fired me for not showing up for work on Mondays. OK?
When I got up this morning, I accidentally took two Ex-lax in addition to my
normal four Prozac. I can’t get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.
I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is
completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter
If it is all the same to you I won’t be coming in to work. The voices told
me to clean all the guns today.
I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to
work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw
restraint so I won’t bite things when I am startled.
The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
I prefer to remain an enigma.
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”