[In honor of those flying today, I share my TOP 10 HUMOROUS ANNOUNCEMENTS by
airline staff]
Pilot on public intercom: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising
altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort
and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
—-o0o—
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of
this airplane.”
—o0o—
“Thank you for flying our airline. We hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
—o0o—
From an airline employee: “Welcome aboard flight 271 . To operate your seat
belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just
like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
—o0o—
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll
try to have them fixed before we arrive.”
—-o0o—
“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
compliments.”
—o0o—
“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses.”
—o0o—
And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Our airline is pleased to
announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.
Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”
—o0o—
Heard just after a very hard landing as the flight attendant came on the
intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are
thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the
pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault; it was the asphalt.”
—o0o—
Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask
you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
—o0o—
And a BONUS: (My favorite)
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from
the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If
you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before
assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child,
pick your favorite.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”