10. Babes are always kissing you because they think you’ll turn into a prince. 9. Flies in your soup are a bonus. 8. You’re above toads on the food chain. 7. Green goes with absolutely everything! 6. ‘Pond Scum’ is a term of endearment. 5. You can eat almost anything…

After years of using the same perfumes, my wife decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance. The next day she was surprised that is was her little grandson, not me, who first noticed the change. As he put his arms around G’ma, he declared, “Wow,…

Three animals were having an argument in the forest over who was the greatest. The hawk said he was best because of his great vision and ability to fly. The lion claimed superiority because of his speed and strength and title King of the Jungle. The skunk insisted that his…

At the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The Engineer replied, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer enquired, “Well, what would you say…

He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having problems with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians. It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, which required extra effort from the basses at the end. Earlier that evening, he…

[copied, source unknown] It’s not often women win the Masters Golf Tournament, but they did Sunday. Actually, Phil Mickelson won, but for millions of women around the country, it must feel like a victory. Mickelson, in case you forgot, is the guy who stayed true to his wife. He’s the…

The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country’s leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power.…

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp…

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp…

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, “I must have taken Leif off my census.” ~~  Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This…

An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day.…

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, “I’ll give…

Isn’t it strange . . . how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping? Isn’t it strange . . . how 2 hours seem so long when you’re at church, but how…