Serious subject caught my attention. Even though President Obama is against
off shore drilling for our country (though that may change), he signed an
executive order to loan $2,000,000,000 (two billion) of our taxpayers
dollars to a Brazilian Oil Exploration Company (which is the 8th largest
company in the entire world) to drill for oil off the coast [...]
[Bob J forwarded these very astute observations on growing older]
~Your kids are becoming you and you don’t like them, but your grandchildren
are perfect!
~When people say you look “Great”, they always add “for your age!”
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of
losing your keys than the [...]
On a visit to Moscow I was required to take a tour of Lenin’s tomb. Was this
a communist plot?
I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Why do people say “close proximity”? Is there a “far proximity?”
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Is it [...]
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for
upcoming birthday.
“Yes,” came the answer. “I’ve bought her both a belt and a bag to go with
it.”
“That was very kind of you,” Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the
thought.”
Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will
work better [...]
A young lady came home very sad from a date. She told her mother, “Zach
proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe
there’s a Hell.”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show [...]
[Actual remarks made by soccer commentators - forwarded to me by someone who
mistakenly thinks I care about soccer]
1. Well, it is Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way,
I’ve got to fancy Liverpool for the win.
2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
3. And so [...]
[Associated Press] The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing
scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot,
according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consul
[omitted], at Bergen, Norway.
Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical
change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures [...]
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just
thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. When asked
about it, the fellow mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.
“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.
“Why, Yes! That was it!”
“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first [...]
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with
relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” she said.
“What kind of a day are you having?”
“Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such
a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke [...]
A little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with
her first little children’s Bible, in an easy-to-read translation, when she
was very young.
Now, a decade or so later, the elderly lady was ready to spend a few sweet
moments handing down the big old family Bible, in the time-honored King
James Version, to her only [...]
[Gramma forwarded this chuckle]
Gladys Dunn had recently moved into a retirement community in a small town
in Florida.
One beautiful Sunday morning she walked to a church not far from her
apartment.
She was in awe of the beautiful church, as well as music from the choir.
She wasn’t too impressed with the sermon. She thought it was kind of [...]
A little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning,
He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee she had
ever had!
When she had heroically gulped down the last of the liquid she saw three
green army men in the bottom of the cup! Naturally she asked, “Honey, [...]
I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned
seat. It was going to be a long flight. I’m glad I have a good book to
read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought.
Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all
the vacant [...]
