December 17, 2009 – 12:59 am
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very
quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they
are there. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly
he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his
reindeer. Since [...]
By Bob
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Posted in Uncategorized
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December 16, 2009 – 12:43 am
It was December 16th, just nine days before Christmas, and the judge was in
a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this
shopping?”
“Oh, about an hour or two before the store opened,” countered the [...]
December 15, 2009 – 12:03 am
In northern Wyoming there was a huge battle between cattle barons and
sheepherders in the Johnson County War. Sheep were shot, fences put up on
the vast cattle ranches ripped down.
Finally the leading sheepherder Clare D. Lune hired two Chinese immigrants
(Lu Chim and Wu Ni) and together they ambushed the leading cattlemen,
hanging them in traditional Wyoming [...]
December 14, 2009 – 12:07 am
[With 10 grandkids 10-and-under, trust me that I hear some pretty awful
jokes and riddles at Christmastime]
Q. What happens to Santa if there’s a fire in the fireplace?
A. Santa becomes known as Krisp Kringle.
Q. What day of the year can we all honestly say our children are gifted!?
A. December 25th
Q. What three phrases best sum up [...]
December 12, 2009 – 12:03 am
GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED by Kelly Adkins
I envy Kevin. My brother, Kevin, thinks God lives under his bed. At least
that’s what I heard him say one night.
He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen,
‘Are you there, God?’ he said. ‘Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the [...]
December 11, 2009 – 12:13 am
While Christmas shopping at a local toy store, my friend Jim came across a
long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As
he scanned the line, he noticed his friend, Bill, waiting with all the
others.
Knowing that Bill had no daughters or granddaughter, Jim figured that Bill
must like the dolls himself.
“Hey Bill, [...]
December 11, 2009 – 12:13 am
While Christmas shopping at a local toy store, my friend Jim came across a
long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As
he scanned the line, he noticed his friend, Bill, waiting with all the
others.
Knowing that Bill had no daughters or granddaughter, Jim figured that Bill
must like the dolls himself.
“Hey Bill, [...]
December 10, 2009 – 12:09 am
Some years back as a good father, I bought my only daughter a special Barbie
Doll House. Sadly (for me) it arrived in 189 plastic pieces. The
instructions said that it could be put together in about “30 minutes or
less”. It took me most of the night and I was blurry-eyed and out-of-sorts
on Christmas morning.
I’m [...]
December 9, 2009 – 12:35 am
It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus’ sleigh team became one
member short because of a sudden illness.
When an inflatable plastic reindeer was used to fill the void in the team,
so no one would take notice the missing animal, Regis (chief elf), asked
Santa,
“Is that your vinyl Prancer?”
~~
ANSWERS to Monday’s [...]
December 8, 2009 – 12:56 am
The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students
about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to
the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it. After the story time,
the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story.
Most of the pictures were [...]
December 7, 2009 – 12:09 am
Everyone dresses up kids for the program as “angels”. What’s the difference
between a one-winged angel and a two-winged angel? It’s a matter of a
pinion.
I think yule love the game we’re about to play. In each sentence below, fill
in the blank or blanks with an expression commonly used at Christmastide.
Answers Wednesday:
1. On December 24, Adam’s [...]
December 5, 2009 – 12:14 am
[Pastor Rob Reid avows this as a true story. Thanks to Dave for forwarding
it . . and I could hardly wait for Christmas Season to begin, to share it.]
The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry,
to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited
about their opportunities. When [...]
December 4, 2009 – 12:07 am
James Fennimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus. Naturally he
titled it The Deer Sleigher. On the inside cover appears a photograph of
Santa taken with his North Polaroid camera. In the pages of the book,
you’ll find out that Santa’s primary language is North Polish. You’ll learn
that Santa and Mrs. Claus live in an [...]
