My wife Teresa was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the
festivities. After she woke up, she confided to me, “I just dreamed that you
gave me a diamond necklace and earrings for a New Year’s present. What do
you think it all means?”
“Aha, you’ll know at midnight tonight,” I answered, with a wink and [...]
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and [...]
One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her
children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother
never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
“The children came over in person to thank me,” the grandparent told a
friend [...]
“Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” little Joshie said to
his Uncle Dave the first time he saw him after the holidays. “It’s the best
present I ever got.”
“That’s great,” said his uncle. “Do you know how to play it?”
“Oh, I don’t play it,” the little fellow replied. “My mom gives me a dollar
a [...]
We send out fun emails and fill up your in-boxes throughout the year with
smiles and laughs (or groans). Each weekend the topic is more pointed. And
on Christmas Day, what would you expect? More laughs?
‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY . . . but not everyone is jolly this time of the
year.
The holiday season, [...]
A pastor asked the class, “Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem?”
A young child raised his hand and replied, “Because his mother was there.”
~~
Seriously, now . . . remember the story?
In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, the angel Gabriel was sent from
God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to [...]
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a user was using his laptop or mouse;
The programs were ‘hung’ from the bugs in their code,
In hopes that a guru would soon cure their woes;
The data were nestled all snug in their beds,
While versions of software danced in their heads;
The boss dimmed the [...]
[This is a repeat from a few years back - many liked it, although some
thought I was picking on them or their friends personally. Who knew?]
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me
Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets [...]
(Sung to the tune “Deck The Halls”)
Deck the malls this Christmas season,
fa la la la la, la la la la
Blow your cash for no good reason,
fa la la la la, la la la la
Push your charge card to it’s limit
fa la la, la la la, la la la
Your check book now has nothing in it.
fa [...]
There is less than a week now until Christmas (for gift buying). The Bible
uses two different Greek words translated “gift”. Both illustrate different
truths. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh
down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow
of turning.” James 1:17
1. GOOD GIFT: [...]
SANTA CLAUS IS A WOMAN. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I
believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm,
fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could
possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men [...]
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very
quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they
are there. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly
he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his
reindeer. Since [...]
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very
quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they
are there. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly
he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his
reindeer. Since [...]
