10/07/09 Grif.Net – Too Fundamental

10/07/09 Grif.Net – Too Fundamental

I am PROUD to be a “fundamentalist” born-again Baptist minister for nearly
40 years. Yet I also have to laugh (rather than cry) when poking fun at some
who claim this title and who take themselves too seriously! Laugh AT me or

You might be giving “fundamentalists” a bad name if . . .

* You pronounce “sin” with two syllables.
* You enjoy talking to people in King James English.
* You believe Moses should have shaved.
* You have a portrait of Sodom and Gomorrah, the day after they were nuked.
* You pronounce it “Bab-diss.”
* You thought Back to the Future was a movie about Biblical Prophecy.
* You know that unscrambling “Santa” is “Satan.”
* You exchange any currency that has three 6’s in a row.
* You think credit cards are a tool of the devil to identify you to the
* You think that bar codes are demonic.
* You think the band K.I.S.S. means Knights in Satan’s Service.
* You know the writing on the Statue of Liberty’s tablet was put there by a
Mason, in an Illuminati conspiracy.
* You have a chart of the hidden symbols of the dollar bill.
* You think Pat Robertson was okay till he ran for president.
* You think the guy with the long hair and John 3:16 sign at football games
is liberal.
* You think Jerry Falwell was a liberal.
* You think Jesus is liberal.
* You call Israel “the Holy Land.”
* You say Amen more than once an hour.
* You pray so long your food gets cold.
* You have a fish on the back of your car, your boat, your bicycle and
your briefcase… you’d get a fish tattoo, but they’re tools of the devil.
* You have your name stamped on your 10+ Bibles.
* You know four Greek words for love and their different usages.
* You name your children after the apostles.
* You became an Amway dealer to evangelize in disguise.
* You like being an Amway dealer.

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”