Raindadd sent these – transcripts of actual call center/information conversations: Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through. Can you help?’ Operator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’ Customer: ‘It’s on the door of the business.’ Operator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that they are…

A bear, a lion, and a pig meet. I know what you’re thinking – they eat the PIG…NO The bear says, “If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear.” The lion says, “If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me.”…

[Bob forwarded this story. It sounds so real it could be true!] Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.…

Word problems in math tests like the ACT/SAT are sometimes challenging: I put the CORRECT answer in brackets for those like me who are math-challenged!! Part One: An old clunker vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses _____ [800] gallons of gasoline a year. A new fuel-efficient…

[In response to last week’s grif.net on marriage, BJ sent this] Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you take out your frustration and control your anger. Wife says: I clean the toilet. Husband says: How does that help? Wife says: I use…

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals…

Dear Ma & Pa, Am well. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed…

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby…

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their relatives included senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren and hired a fine author. Only one problem arose — how…

Two deaths this week made headlines. Actor and dancer Patrick Swayze succumbed to pancreatic cancer. And Bible teacher Paul Van Gorder. Millions were impacted when they saw Swayze in movies such as North and South, Ghost, Dirty Dancing, etc. Millions were also impacted by Van Gorder though many would not…

“Marriage is a lot like the army. Everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the numbers that re-enlist.” – James Garner “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin “Don’t assume that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost – she may have got him.”…

[Forwarded from a preacher friend in the Sunshine State] Hey Bob – I’ve sure gotten old since we last saw each other. I’ve had 2 double by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees. I fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet…

A man was playing chess with his dog in the backyard. A neighbor noticed and commented, “Wow, I’ve never seen a dog play chess before. She must be very smart.” “Hah!” scoffed the man. “She’s not so smart. I’ve beaten her three out of five games.” ~~   Dr Bob…