September 30, 2009 – 12:12 am
Raindadd sent these – transcripts of actual call center/information
conversations:
Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get
through. Can you help?’
Operator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’
Customer: ‘It’s on the door of the business.’
Operator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that they are open.’
~~
Caller: ‘Can you [...]
September 29, 2009 – 12:11 am
A bear, a lion, and a pig meet. I know what you’re thinking – they eat the
PIG…NO
The bear says, “If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with
fear.”
The lion says, “If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me.”
The pig says, “Big deal….I only have to cough, and [...]
September 28, 2009 – 12:41 am
[Bob forwarded this story. It sounds so real it could be true!]
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young
trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked
their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.
At the last house a woman looking out her [...]
September 26, 2009 – 10:08 am
Word problems in math tests like the ACT/SAT are sometimes challenging: I
put the CORRECT answer in brackets for those like me who are
math-challenged!!
Part One:
An old clunker vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses _____ [800]
gallons of gasoline a year.
A new fuel-efficient vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses [...]
September 25, 2009 – 12:07 am
[In response to last week's grif.net on marriage, BJ sent this]
Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you take
out your frustration and control your anger.
Wife says: I clean the toilet.
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your [...]
September 24, 2009 – 12:03 am
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In [...]
September 23, 2009 – 12:10 am
Dear Ma & Pa,
Am well. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working
for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of
the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but
am getting so [...]
September 22, 2009 – 1:03 am
A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.
One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that
a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and
delivered a healthy baby boy.
The farmer had nothing to weigh the [...]
September 21, 2009 – 12:07 am
The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to
America on the Mayflower. Their relatives included senators and Wall Street
wizards.
They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and
grandchildren and hired a fine author. Only one problem arose — how to
handle the two black sheep of the family — [...]
September 19, 2009 – 12:01 am
Two deaths this week made headlines. Actor and dancer Patrick Swayze
succumbed to pancreatic cancer. And Bible teacher Paul Van Gorder.
Millions were impacted when they saw Swayze in movies such as North and
South, Ghost, Dirty Dancing, etc. Millions were also impacted by Van Gorder
though many would not recognize his name, as he pastored [...]
September 18, 2009 – 12:24 am
“Marriage is a lot like the army. Everyone complains, but you’d be surprised
at the numbers that re-enlist.” – James Garner
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin
Franklin
“Don’t assume that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost – she may have
got him.”
“A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks [...]
September 17, 2009 – 12:09 am
[Forwarded from a preacher friend in the Sunshine State]
Hey Bob – I’ve sure gotten old since we last saw each other. I’ve had 2
double by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees. I fought
prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter
than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, [...]
September 16, 2009 – 12:01 am
A man was playing chess with his dog in the backyard. A neighbor noticed and
commented, “Wow, I’ve never seen a dog play chess before. She must be very
smart.”
“Hah!” scoffed the man. “She’s not so smart. I’ve beaten her three out of
five games.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
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