07/10/09 Grif.Net – John Calvin’s 500th Birthday

07/10/09 Grif.Net – John Calvin’s 500th Birthday

[The great theologian John Calvin was born July 10, 1509. In his honor we
share some Calvinistic humor]

A man wanted to become a minister, so he went to a theological college to
enroll. But when he arrived, he was met at the gates, and given his degree
without even having to step into the college.

When he asked why, they said that it had been pre-ordained.

Two Calvinists were standing by the side of the road at the foot of a bridge
holding up sign. The sign read, “The End is Near! Turn Around Now Before it
is too Late!”

A car sped past them, the driver yelling out the window, “Leave us alone,
you religious nuts!”

Then there was the sound of screeching tires and groaning brakes followed by
a big splash! One preacher turned to the other and asked, “Do you think the
sign should
simply say, Bridge Out”?

A Presbyterian minister, visiting a town he did not know, stopped a boy in
the street and inquired the way to the church. After carefully writing down
the directions, the
minister says to the lad, “Remember to say your prayers, my boy, and you
find the way to heaven.”

The boy replied, “What do you know about the way to heaven if you don’t even
know the way to church?”

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”