Linda wrote and said, “Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag
of Purina dog chow for my loyal Lab, Cocoa, and was in the checkout line
when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little
to [...]
If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat
canned pork because of swine flu . . ignore it.
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Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a
social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did
something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the
permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building
supervisor, she removed all of the desks out of her [...]
A young mother was paying a visit to a doctor and she made no attempt to
restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.
But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I
hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.”
“No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet [...]
10. American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”
9. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
8. Long distance companies don’t call you to switch.
7. You rob Peter…and then rob Paul.
6. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
5. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
4. Your bologna has no [...]
[Sometimes the bumper sticker says it all:]
Cremation: Think Outside the Box
I’m Retired. I was Tired Yesterday and I’m Tired Again Today
When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW. Now I don’t care about the
W.
I’m at the initial stage of my retirement: SSI, CD’s, IRA, AARP
Sometimes I Wake up Grumpy. Sometimes [...]
Sign in a Whiting, Indiana store front window: “WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS
WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN SOLDIER!”
This sign was prominently displayed in the window and you would think such
an
Inflammatory statement would bring immediate outrage.
However, we are a society which holds freedom of speech as perhaps our
greatest liberty. And after [...]
Barbara Mandrell relates that when she had her first child (son Nathan) that
she always sang three songs to him. “Jesus Loves Me”, “This is the Day that
the Lord hath Made” and “Jesus Loves the Little Children”. She wondered
which of these three would be the first song he would sing on his own.
It ended [...]
After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church’s pastor once
again slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and gave a very brief
introduction of his childhood friend. With that, an elderly man stepped up
to the pulpit to speak, “A father, his son, and a friend of his son were
sailing off the [...]
Today is our anniversary. We’ve been happily married 3 years now. (We’ve
been married 39 years, but I said “happily”.)
Here are a couple old-couple jokes . . .
I remember the time I tried to help by doing my own laundry. I threw my
favorite sweat-shirt in the washer, but with all the buttons and cycles, I
had [...]
A minister, wearing a “clergy collar”, visited the church day care.
The little children were quite concerned at this odd looking outfit. One
little girl asked if he had a “boo-boo” on his neck and asked him how he got
hurt.
The pastor smiled and took the white plastic collar insert out and handed it
around to the pre-schoolers. [...]
We got a giant floor puzzle of the US states and inserts for each capital.
My oldest grandson put the puzzle together in record time, then proceeded to
get all the cities correctly, too, bragging on how easy it was. (He is very
smart)
I said that when I was his age I knew all the states and [...]
[My whining about Casper's odd cold/wet weather and the jokes about Seattle
brought a response from Ben in the Tempe/Phoenix area]
IT’S SO HOT in Arizona in the summer that . . .
We go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on our laps – just to cool off.
The farmers must feed their cows ice cubes [...]
