[15 more trivial facts about our Presidents. How many do YOU know?]

16. President who lived the longest life (tricky)

17. First American to win the Nobel Prize

18. Only President never to marry

19. First President to be born in a hospital

20. Oldest President to assume office

21. Youngest President to assume office

22. First Presidential inauguration to be filmed

23. First President to call the Executive Mansion the “White House”

24.Only President who was a former fashion model

25. Shortest President

26. Only President who was not elected by the people

27. First President to visit all 50 states

28.First President to be photographed

29. Only President to be born outside the continental United States

30. President who dedicated the Statue of Liberty

[answers Tuesday]

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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[We'll give some salient fact and you simply choose which President of the
USA fits the bill. Some easy; some tough.]

1. President with the most children (15)

2. First President born in the United States (not England or a colony)

3. Won with a unanimous electoral vote

4. First President to wear long trousers instead of knee-breeches

5. First President to live in the White House

6. Only President to be married in the White House

7. First President born west of the Mississippi River

8. Only President to serve in both World War I and World War II

9. President who started the tradition of a Christmas tree on the White
House lawn

10. President who held the first Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn

11. First President to own a car

12. First Vice President to ascend to Presidency upon the death of the
President

13. First President to wear a beard

14. First President to give a speech on TV

15. First Roman Catholic President

[second half of the quiz tomorrow; answers on Monday]
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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In our college restroom, the Dean placed a sign directly above the sink. It
had a single word on it — “Think!”

The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right
below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered
another sign which read — “Thoap!”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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On the door of an office in the Faculty Bay was the sign: Putting the “K”
Back
in Kwality.

Of course, on my door are the words: Putting the “FUN” Back in
Dysfunctional.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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One of my colleagues writes that this true story occurred during her stint
of jury duty:

I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us
began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question,
“Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?” there was silence.

Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, “I do.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole
world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to
eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were
convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour,
we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she
had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to
wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking
of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then,
life was really tough! Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them
while everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until
we were 17.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other’s property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. We
never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other
things other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed
once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on
Saturdays.

Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is
what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms
anymore.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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Our English prof wrote the words, “woman without her man is nothing” on the
blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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Overheard at graduation. A student wrote home about final exam results:
“Dad, I got a 100 on my tests today!” Boy, was his father proud!

As the school year was over, Dad came to visit campus and learn more about
the great work his boy did. It was only after talking to a few of the
professors that he found out that the 100 was a “50 in English, 30 in math,
and 20 in science.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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TOP 10 THINGS MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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A recent college graduate took a new job in hilly Pittsburg and began
commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and
traffic jams. To make the task less onerous, he invited several of his
coworkers to share the ride. He soon found, however, that the commute
continued to get more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels.
He consulted the company doctor.

“Doc,” the frustrated commuter complained, “I’m fine on the bridges, in
heavy traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe
all week long. But when I get in the tunnels and I’ve got those four other
guys crowded around me in the car, I get anxious and dizzy and feel like I’m
going to explode.”

Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had identified the
ailment. “What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?”

“No, no, no, my boy. You have something very common in these parts. You
have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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Lou goes to the doctor’s office complaining of not feeling well. The doctor
runs some test on him and in a few minutes comes back in. The doctor says,
“Lou, sit down. I’ve got some really bad news. You don’t have much time to
live.”

Lou is obviously upset about this, and asks, “How much longer do I have,
Doc?”

The doctor replies, “Ten.”

Lou says, “Ten what? Weeks? Months? Years?”

The doctor then says, “Nine.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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I hereby officially TENDER MY RESIGNATION as an adult.

I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old
again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star
restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples
with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat
them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in
art. I want to lie under a big Oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my
friends on a hot summers’ day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were
colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother
you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care.

When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things
that should make you worried and upset. I want to think that the world is
fair. That everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that
anything is possible.

Somewhere in my youth . . . I matured and I learned too much. I learned of
nuclear weapons
war
prejudice
starvation
abused children
lies
recessions
unhappy marriages
suffering
illness
pain and death

I learned of a world where men left their families to go and fight for our
country, and returned only to end up living on the streets… begging for
their next meal. I learned of a world where children knew how to kill… and
did!

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever,
because we didn’t grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst
thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you
last for kickball?

I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by
little things once again. I want to return to the days when reading was fun
and music was clean. When television was used to report the news or for
family entertainment and not to promote sex, violence and deceit.

I remember being naive and thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I
would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the
prettiest seashell I could find. I would spend my afternoons climbing trees
and riding my bike. I didn’t worry about time, bills or where I was going to
find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be
when I grew up, not worry about what I’ll do if this doesn’t work out.

I want to live simple again. I don’t want my day to consist of
computer crashes
mountains of paperwork
depressing news
how to survive more days in the month than money in the bank
doctor bills
gossip
illness
loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of
smiles
hugs
a kind word
truth
justice
peace
dreams
imagination
mankind
making angels in the snow.

I want to be 6 again.

[Submitted by Becky Germany
Fiction Editor, Barbour Books]

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw
the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would
say, “Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.” Kevin turned to
his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus.”

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the
flea?”

Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that
the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, “Son, your shoes are on the
wrong feet.” He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid
me, Mom. They’re the only feet I got!”

On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher
said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.” A little
voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?”

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting
away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread
them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box
says not to eat them if the seal is broken” the boy explained. “I’m looking
for the seal.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”

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