[Carol forwarded this. Author Unknown.]
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving
in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in
front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the
other car by just inches! [...]
In Texas, a woman was called in front of a grand jury for possible
manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger in the back six times as he was
running away with her purse.
He had grabbed her purse and ran. But she had her hand on her gun inside
the purse, and when he ran [...]
[Yesterday's Grif.Net on "Neighborhoods" left out the IDIOTS who live there.
We've all run into them]
A new resident of a semi-rural area called the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the ‘Deer Crossing’ sign on our road. The
reason? “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is
a [...]
My neighborhood was so tough that the kids had to be muzzled to protect the
pit bulls.
My friends lived in a neighborhood where kids set up lemonade stands. My
neighborhood was so tough that the kids set up ammo stands.
My neighborhood was so tough that instead of using chalk to play hopscotch,
we used it to play body [...]
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A CREED (Edgar Guest)
Lord let me not in service lag.
Let me be worthy of our flag.
Let me remember when I’m tired,
The sons heroic who have died.
In freedom’s name and in my way,
Teach me to be as brave as they.
In all I am, in all I do,
Unto our flag I would be true.
For God and country [...]
[My family name is "Griffin", Americanized from "Gryphon" of Welsh and Irish
mythology. As I put up our flag in remembrance of the fallen soldiers of
generations past, I found myself humming my favorite marching song. The
last time I sang this song was many years ago, with the men of our company
(Company I, 3rd US [...]
[Borrowed from Prairie Home Companion]
Just remember, a hard boiled egg is really hard to beat.
Seeing a hungry man, you go to your bank and withdraw money, and give the
man $10. You may have fed him for a day or two. However, if you teach that
same man to rob that same bank, you have fed him [...]
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As
they walked, they come across a sign: “Beauty contest for the most beautiful
woman in the world.”
“I am entering!” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they
ask her, “Well, how’d ya do?”
“First Place!” said a smiling Snow White.
They [...]
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot
Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape
that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to help with sleep while reducing the number of trips older
people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be [...]
When I taught at old PU, I heard about a student who came in late for
finals. “How come you’re late?” asked the professor.
“It was awful,” she explains. “I was walking down the street and there was
this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he had
been thrown from [...]
I heard that a minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach
about a special sin. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to
read Mark 17.”
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister
asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark [...]
Floyd Doud Shafer (Christianity Today, March 27, 1961)
There was a time, about three generations ago, when the minister was known
as the parson. Parson, in those days, was not a nickname, but an honorific
title, and it meant The Person. More often than not the parson was the best
educated man in the community and he ranked with [...]
