[As you may already know, Haiku has 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first
line, 7 in the second, 5 in the third. Here are some suggestions.]
OPTIONS
Unemployment’s out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability
BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Neighbor kid’s been playing with
Gasoline again
REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can’t fit big screen TV through
Doublewide’s front door
BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mud [...]
[All credit to an old Ann Landers clipping that listed "Important Things My
Kids Taught Me"]
*It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
*If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
*Ask why until you understand.
*Save a place in line for your friends.
*If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a [...]
[Can't let this day pass without special birthday love and a prayer for my
sweet wife Teresa. I won't reveal her age, but as of today no one will be
able to say she is 60. She is a gifted healer and used mightily by God in
her special ministry to help thousands have better health. [...]
[Here are some new measurements to add to our growing list of terms]
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries [...]
Interesting story: Norman M. Thomas (1884-1968) – some of us are old enough
to remember him running for President – was a leading American socialist,
pacifist, and six-time presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of
America.
Norman Thomas said in a 1944 speech: “The American people will never
knowingly adopt socialism.
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April 24, 2009 – 10:44 am
[Trying to beat another snow-storm driving home. Winter will not end! But
that does not stop me from asking you these VERY IMPORTANT questions:]
What do you get when you cross . . .
A banana with a red silk dress? A pink slip.
A dog with a cantaloupe? A melon-collie baby.
A dove with a high [...]
April 23, 2009 – 12:54 pm
TOP TEN SIGNS you’re an E-mail Junkie . . .
1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail
on the way back to bed.
2. You name your firstborn child Dotcom.
3. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just
pulled the plug on [...]
A school teacher injured his back over spring break and had to wear a
plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and
was not noticeable at all.
On the first day after break, still with the cast under his shirt, he found
himself in his classroom of the toughest students in [...]
April 21, 2009 – 12:16 pm
We mentioned the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic on April 15th,
1912 (nothing to do with the IRS if you can believe the government). Many
lives were lost, as was her unique cargo of 10 tons of a new product called
“mayonnaise” shipped from Europe to expanding markets in North America
That’s probably why the Mexicans [...]
Heading 700 miles today across one of the most un-scenic routes in America.
(Yep. Nebraska) Was asked if my wife would be along. We have had problems
driving in the past, so I am leaving her at home. Why?
Here’s an example of the last trip
TERESA DRIVING -
1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window
3. Asks [...]
[I am excited. On an upcoming trip to Canada and New England later this year
I have planned an entire day in the Boston area to visit both the Lexington
and Concord battlefields, the birthplace of the Revolution. The poem will
take on visual meaning.]
Listen my children and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul [...]
A blind man walked into a department store with his seeing-eye dog on a
leash. As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter
looked up, noticed the customer is blind, and not wanting to stare quickly
looks away again.
Out of the corner of his eye the manager saw the blind man start swinging
the dog over [...]
A little old lady is sitting on a park bench in “The Villages,” a Florida
adult community. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the
bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, “Are you a stranger here?”
He replies, “I lived here years ago.”
“So, where were you all these years?”
“In prison,” he [...]
