Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote
it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by [...]
[Back snug at home after 2500+ travel. Visualize 6 grandkids all sitting
around "Grandpa" and singing at the top of our lungs "Grandma's Feather Bed"
and you can understand the past 10 days! But loved every minute!]
Here are some jokes t0 make the grandkids laugh while I’m gone . . .
Patient – Doctor, you must [...]
I have to admit it. My liberal friends were right.
They told me if I voted for McCain, the nation’s Hope
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According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal
bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has
been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington
Biological Survey, abbreviated, “Wash. Biol. Surv.”
The following letter from an Arkansas camper caused the change: “Dear Sirs:
While camping last week [...]
While driving along the back roads of a small town in Wyoming, two truckers
from Alabama came to an railroad overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE
11′3″. They got out and measured their rig, which was 12′4″.
“What do you think?” one asked the other.
The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first and stepped on
it. “Not [...]
[This is a "rerun" from 13 years ago when I was teaching college full time.
I was reminded of it when I was playing with grandkids and mentioned a
"happy fizzies
party". Needless to say, that anachronism was as out of place as Pinkie
Lee, Howdy Doody, or even Archie Bunker. This is a SECOND generation
removed from [...]
[Yesterday's entire "special" paragraph was missing the most common letter
in the English alphabet - E. In honor of me watching Wall-E 4 times with my
grandkids . . and going crazy!!]
Two robins were sitting in a tree. “I’m really hungry”, said the first one.
“Me, too,” said the second. “Let’s fly down and find some lunch.” [...]
This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can
find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that
you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with
it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still
may [...]
A woman was walking home one winter eve and came upon a snake that was
freezing to death. The snake begged her to take him into her home and let
him warm up. She told the snake that she could not do this as he was a
snake and would surely bite her. The snake [...]
In 1875, a Danish couple converted to become Mormons and moved to Cache
Valley, Utah. They set up a farm in Rural Providence, Utah, and were
self-sufficient for a couple of years.
By the third year, the husband decided to take a second wife, as Mormons of
the time did. His wife was not too keen on the idea, [...]
A Native American (nee Indian) returned home to the reservation after
serving in the Army. While in the Army he became an accomplished
electrician. He was sitting around smoking the peace pipe one evening when
the Chief suggested that he might put lights and heat in the outdoor
toilets.
He is reputed to be the first person in North [...]
While visiting his niece, an elderly man had what was apparently a stroke.
She drove wildly to get him to the emergency Room. After what seemed like a
very long wait, the ER doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face.
Sadly, he said, “I’m afraid that your uncle’s brain is dead but his heart is
still [...]
Happy St Patrick’s Day. While I am Scot and Welsh, I do have a drunken
grandfather whose family came over from Ireland during the famine. Mom said
I should be thankful I lost the Irish blood in me when I had a nosebleed at
age 7.
But love the humor.
Q. What is Irish and stays out in [...]
