08/25/08 Grif.Net – Odd Announcements

08/25/08 Grif.Net – Odd Announcements

This is a collection of actual Church Announcements, either recorded from
the lectern or printed in the bulletin:

“The lecture on the religious history of circumcision has been cut from
tonight’s program.”

“The pastor will discuss the health risks of obesity, and then the choir
will sing ‘There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy’.”

“The blessing of the pets will be followed by a hot dog lunch.”

“For next week’s men’s clothing drive we are requesting you drop your pants
in the church basement.”

“Anyone who has lost their job recently is invited to attend a special
service on Monday evening to join together and pray to a hire power.”

“We need one more player on the church soccer team this fall. Ask yourself:
‘Am I my brother’s goalkeeper?'”

“This week’s focus in our church collection of needed items will be kitchen
matches and school textbooks.”

“After the Women’s Missionary Society potluck luncheon, we will take time to
pray for the sick.”

“Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donations. She is also
having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Bob’s sermons.”

Dr Bob Griffin,
“Jesus knows me, this I love”