1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was
God and I didn’t .
2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke .
5. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
6. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!.
7. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
8. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
9. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.
10. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
11. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
12. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
Bonus: I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
“Jesus knows me, this I love”