In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. Shortly thereafter God was
in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn’t be cited for failure
to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary
planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease and Desist Order
for the earthly part. At the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly
project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.
Then God said, “Let there be light.”
Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would it
require strip mining? What about thermal pollution?
God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire, and
provisional approval was granted with the proviso that no smoke would
result.
The authorities demanded the issuance of a building permit, and (to conserve
energy) required that the light be left off half the time. God agreed,
saying he would call the light “Day” and the darkness “Night.” Officials
replied that they were only interested in protecting the environment, not in
semantics.
God said, “Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as bear seed.”
The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was used.
Then God said, “Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and
the fowl that may fly over the earth.”
Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of
Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubon-gelic
Society.
Everything went along smoothly until God declared that he intended to
complete the project in six days.
Officials informed God it would take at least 200 days to review his many
waiver applications and environmental impact statements. After that there
would have to be a public hearing, and then there would be a 10-12 month
probationary period.
At this point, God created Hell.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given