I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
Gregory, 5

I hear angels all the time in my dreams. And I’m sticking with that no
matter how many people tell me I’m crazy.
Molly, 8

Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why
but scientists are working on it.
Olive, 9

It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven then
there’s still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree
to wear those angel clothes.
Matthew, 9

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science.
Henry, 8

Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from holy cows.
Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The basic
message is where you went wrong before you gotz dead.
Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when
he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado.
Regan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an
angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then
when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.
Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very good
carpenter.
Jared, 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn’t go for
it.
Antonia, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on
helping me while she was still down here on earth.
Katelyn, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And
if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the kid get over it.
Vicki, 8

What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot
arrows at them.
Sarah, 7

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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Did anybody happen to notice this week the picture God painted for us as we
watched the events of the day unfold on every news station around the
world? The portrait of three men’s lives shown clearly through the events
of their deaths. One a wise man, one a foolish man and one a wicked man.
These men captured the world’s attention by their lives and their deaths.
Their funerals spoke volumes about the course of life they had chosen to
pursue with the few short years God had granted to them.

All three men, President Ford, James Brown and Saddam Hussein had choices in
their destiny. Today they have all three stood in front of the God of this
universe with those choices unveiled and judged. God allowed us to see three
men yesterday.

President Gerald Ford, a man whose faith in God and service to his country
was eulogized by many speakers during the solemn and dignified ceremonies
which marked his passing. A man of character and integrity, not perfect but
made righteous by his faith in Jesus Christ. It was in this righteousness
he lived out his life as a servant to his fellowman and his country. Great
men and dignitaries attended his funeral, all coming to pay respect and
honor to a man most deserving.

James Brown also was eulogized in a funeral ceremony befitting his life
choices. There was blaring rock music, gyrating bodies, costumes, and great
sensual displays of revelry to portray the contribution this man had given
through his life to his fellowman. He lived a life of drugs, alcohol,
immorality and rock music. He was heralded the father of Rap music and the
inspiration of Michael Jackson’s greatness. His funeral with all of its
theatrics was befitting the excess of waste his life portrayed.

Then we had the gruesome hanging of Saddam Hussein. His death was as gory
as his life. A brutal murderer and dictator hung by his neck and secreted
away in the middle of the night to an unmarked grave. Thousands of Iraqis
celebrated his death for through his life he had brought untold misery and
death to many. A man so wicked that it seemed the world breathed a
collective sigh of relief at the pronouncement of his death.

Three men who left their mark on the entire world. All three have now stood
before their Creator to answer for the choices they made in their life as
you and I will someday.

There is only one choice and Gerald Ford’s life exemplifies the nobility of
choosing to walk in harmony with The Creator through the acceptance of Jesus
Christ as his Redeemer.

James Brown chose to walk in the flesh. His life’s work glorified the flesh
and his death magnified the flesh.

Saddam Hussein chose evil. He was a narcissistic megalomaniac. His life
glorified evil and his death was gruesome.

This all played out in one day. God painted a great picture for mankind to
see. I pray people got His message.

[forwarded from Montana; original source unknown]

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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Yesterday (Thursday) we got 12″ of snow and then slammed in the deep freeze.
-19F and gonna get colder. Winds picking up to blizzard strength, so no
school. So thought up some neat jokes for the kiddos fitting for a day like
today.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snow flakes

Q. What do you call an elephant in a Wyoming blizzard?
A. Lost

Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. At the North Pole

Q. What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A. A Puddle

Q. What do you call a cow in northern Alaska?
A. An eskimoo

Q. Why did the snowman stand on the marshmallow?
A. So he wouldn’t fall in the hot chocolate

Q. What did the ski cap say to the warm wooly scarf?
A. You hang around. I’m going on a head

HEY, nobody said these were GOOD jokes, right?

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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Memo: All Choir members. We are learning a new Hymn – to be sung to the
tune St. Denio ["Immortal, Invisible"]. Have the words memorized by this
Sunday.

Immoral, impossible, God only knows
How tenors and basses, sopranos, altos
At service on Sunday are rarely the same
As those who on Wednesday to choir practice came.

Unready, unable to sight-read the notes,
Nor counting, nor blending, they tighten their throats:
The descant so piercing is soaring above
A melody only a mother could love.

They have a director, but one wonders why:
No one in the choir deigns turn him an eye.
It’s clear by his flailing, he wants them to look,
But each singer slouches with nose in the book.

Despite the offenses, the music rings out.
The folks in the pews are enraptured, no doubt.
Their faces are blissful, their thoughts appear deep,
But it is no wonder, for they are asleep.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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IF FAMOUS HISTORICAL FIGURES WERE LOOKING FOR A JOB TODAY…

Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back
stabbing. I’d like to get away from all that.

Jesse James: I can list among my experience and skills: leadership,
extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of
firearms, and knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.

Marie Antoinette: My management style has been criticized, but I’d like to
think of myself as a people person.

Joseph Guillotin: I can give your company a head start on the competition.

Hamlet: My position was eliminated in a hostile takeover.

Lucrezia Borgia: My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the
department, our competition just seemed to drop out of sight one by one.

Pandora: I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.

Genghis Khan: My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I downsized my
staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries.

Macbeth: Would I go after my boss’s job? Do I look like the kind of guy who
would knock off his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva: My last employer didn’t understand “business casual”.

Elvis: My last boss and I…say, are you going to eat those fries?

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket in Myrtle
Creek and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband
for marital support.

The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her
that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term. “This
time you stole a can of tomatoes. Let us suppose that there were six
tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?”

The woman agreed.

“Then I sentence you to six nights in jail.”

The husband jumped to his feet, addressing the judge, “Your honor, may I
approach the bench?”

“Well,” said his honor, this is somewhat unusual but I will make an
exception in this case. You may approach the bench.”

The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a
low voice, “She also stole a can of peas.”

~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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In our busy office, a computer going down causes quite an inconvenience.
One day, a computer not only crashed, it made a noise that sounded like a
heart monitor.

“This computer has flat-lined,” a co-worker called out with mock horror.
“Does anyone here know how to do mouse-to-mouse resuscitation?”

~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door
and said, “Do you see how devoted that couple is to each other? He kisses
her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

The husband replied, “Okay, dear, but I don’t really know her that well.”

~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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The bride said I am getting older. I denied it. I’m still in my 50′s and
have memories of the world under Ike, but I’m not “old” like my parents.

So I made a list of famous actresses that I thought were “beautiful” or
“sexy”. Then she shared the approximate age of these youthful beauties. Oh,
my.

Ann-Margret 66
Debra Padget 73
Julie Andrews 70
Ursula Andress 69
Rita Moreno 74
Jean Simmons 76
Julie Newmar 72
Kim Novak 72
Jane Powell 76
Debbie Reynolds 73
Shirley Temple 77
Jane Russell 84
Kathryn Grayson 83
Esther Williams 82
Elke Sommer 65
Gale Storm 83
Jill St John 65
Liz Taylor 73
Sophia Loren 72

Question – How did THEY get so old when I am still so young?

~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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A man was struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lay dying
on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathered around. “A priest -
somebody get me a priest!” the man gasped.

A policeman checked the crowd–no priest, no minister, no man of God of any
kind. “A PRIEST, PLEASE!” the dying man said again. Then out of the crowd
steps a little old Jewish man, at least eighty years of age. “Mr.
Policeman,” says the man, “I’m not a priest. I’m not even a Catholic. But
for fifty years now I’m living behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on
First Avenue, and every night I’m listening to the Catholic liturgy. Maybe I
can be of some comfort to this poor man.”

The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying
man lay. He knelt down, leaned over the injured man and said in a solemn
voice: “B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72.”

~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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A man is told by his doctor that he is dying of an inoperable brain tumor,
with only weeks to live.

“We do have hope,” the doctor says. “We can attempt a brain transplant.
However, it is very experimental, and very expensive.”

“How much would it cost me?” the patient asks.

“Normally a man’s brain transplant is $100,000. You’re in luck; we have a
woman’s brain available, and that one is only $10,000.”

Confused the man asks, “Why is the man’s brain so expensive and the woman’s
so cheap?”

The doctor replies, “Because the woman’s brain is considered ‘used’.”

~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

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