Grif.Net

01/31/07 Grif.Net – Viva la Difference, #21-30

01/31/07 Grif.Net – Viva la Difference, #21-30

[Final installment of differences between men and women.  Like you didn’t know them already!]

21 – DRESSING UP
WOMEN: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
MEN: A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

22 – DAVID LETTERMAN
MEN think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth.
WOMEN think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.

23 – CAMERAS
MEN take photography very seriously. They’ll shell out $4,000 for
state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography
classes.
WOMEN will purchase a $19 1mb 1992 quality digital. Of course, women always
end up taking better pictures.

24 – POLITICS
MEN love to talk politics, but often they forget to do political things such as voting.
WOMEN are very happy that another generation of Kennedys is growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.

25 – LAUNDRY
WOMEN do laundry every couple of days.
MEN: A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. – This is a myth.

26 – WEDDINGS
WOMEN: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about “the ceremony”.
MEN talk about “the bachelor party”.

27 – SOCKS
MEN wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks.
WOMEN wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

28 – TOYS
WOMEN: Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
MEN never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TV’s, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, TiVo,
Xbox and anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six “D” batteries to operate.

29 – PLANTS
WOMEN: A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation.
MEN: The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five days later, to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

30 – MOUSTACHES
MEN look good with mustaches. That is, TWO MEN – Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds.
WOMEN: Won’t even go there.

Bonus – NICKNAMES:
WOMEN eschew the use of nicknames. If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle.
MEN: But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a pizza, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut Brain and Useless.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given